by Stacey N. Warren

Regardless of the need for good mental health, many people are still afraid that their spouse or the other party, their attorney, or even the court will call them crazy if they seek the help of a counselor or therapist during their divorce. This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Here are some of the reasons the court will understand if you seek out a therapist for help:

  • Courts today recognize the stress a divorce or custody fight can cause for the parties and their children. It isn’t like someone gives you a divorce handbook when you get married. Judges and courts generally don’t think twice if you see a therapist for emotional support during your divorce.  
     
  • Unhealthy relationships are stressful. And relationships are usually unhealthy long before a party decides it is time to make a call to an attorney to talk about separation or divorce. 
     
  • When you have children, the stress and anxiety involved in the decision to divorce increases. It isn’t just you and your spouse —there are young people involved. As a divorcing parent, it is natural to experience anxiety as you worry about how you can minimize the impact of the divorce on your children.
     
  • Ending a relationship is a process. Relying on the support of a therapist or mental health professional as you deal with emotions arising from the breakdown of a marriage is healthy and normal. 
     
  • Therapists provide support as you receive information and process feelings like sadness, emptiness or worthiness. They can help you conquer real or imagined fears and the anxieties that may be attached to them, such as fears for the future. 
     
  • Therapists and counselors help people to find and maintain the balance needed to function as a parent or in their jobs as they go through a divorce. Life does not stop, and it is important to keep the wheels on the bus on and moving forward. These professionals provide support along the way. They can help you focus as you work to get things done – as a parent, in your job, and in your legal case.  
     
  • You may struggle with anxiety or depression, and that is okay. It is normal. Situational depression or anxiety may be called “adjustment disorder,” but don’t fear the clinical wording. The important thing to know is the anxiety or depression is often triggered by a significant change in a person’s life, like divorce. Duh, right?
     
  • A good therapist will recognize when you may benefit from medication and will connect you with a professional who can prescribe and monitor your response. Medication can help you to control the symptoms you experience so you can use tools you learn in therapy to handle chaotic emotions and thoughts. Taking an anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants in conjunction with therapy can help you manage feelings and develop coping skills to deal with the stressful events you experience in a divorce. 

Overall, a court recognizes when people make good choices and seek help from healthy sources. They acknowledge responsible behavior – and having a therapist is a responsible action. A judge will not punish you because you have a counselor or therapist for your mental health. 

Further, judges know proper mental health treatment often includes medications with regular talk therapy. In today’s family courts, the failure of a parent to get help for mental health issues that impact daily functioning, parenting or communication skills is more likely to be called out as a negative.

Having a good therapist or counselor helps you and your relationship with your attorney. As “counselors at law” we support and encourage our clients’ use of therapists and counselors, and we will dispel fears you have in receiving help from any mental health professional.